How to stop stress from ruining your life

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Ever since I was young, I’ve always felt like stress was a curse. This awkward and invasive bodily reaction made me feel like I was losing control every time it happened.

You know the feeling too, your whole body enters this fight or flight state :

your heart rate elevates, your breathing gets heavier, your throat feels like it's closing up, and it seems like your blood is being flushed out of your body.

All the time, you hear doctors, the news, people, even your parents, telling you how much stress is bad and how it negatively impacts your health.

“Relax, take a break, stop stressing so much…” Useful advice, right? Do you feel any more in control of your fate after these powerful statements?

This just doesn’t do it for me, and if you’re reading this, I suppose it doesn’t move the needle for you either.

Everyone emphasizes how bad stress is and that you should avoid it at all costs.

Meanwhile, no one ever tells you that stress can be the most powerful tool for motivation, productivity, and performance.

That’s, if you learn how to use and react to it properly.

the most powerful tool for motivation, productivity and performance. That’s if, you learn how to react to it properly.

Your reaction, your beliefs about stress, and the mindset you cultivate about it are what make stress either the biggest poison in your life or the most potent built-in energy system that you possess.

It’s the dose that makes the poison

‘’it’s the dose that makes the poison’’ - Paracelsus

In a sense, they’re not wrong, the people telling you that stress is poison.

long-term exposure to stress is highly detrimental; it wears out your whole system way too quickly as the response is immensely demanding.

But,

think about it. Mother Nature did not implement this system in almost all living organisms for nothing.

This reaction is what preserved your ancestors' lives. Stress is highly adaptive and necessary for life as you know it.

The stress reaction is an acute mobilization of the body. When you’re stressed, your body is basically on steroids, deploying 200% of its capacity.

Which is great, in the short term. And I presume that almost no one ever told you that.

It’s basically you seeing, hearing, thinking about something, (also called a stressor, which most of the time is external but can also be internal)

That stressors triggers a stress response.

Your body then secretes hormones that activate the response. Stress is basically a signal telling your brain & body ‘’we have to do something, here’s more energy for you to do so’’

You can’t blame the stress response; it’s an automatic reaction of the nervous system to a stressor. This is something that’s embedded in you.

Stress is part of life and necessary for you to be alive, functional and mobilized.

It truly is the dose that makes the poison. Too much stress for too long and you develop diseases

But, Without this stress response you’d be laying on the couch with no desire to move, essentially waiting for your death.

‘’More than a quarter of U.S. adults say they're so stressed they can’t function’’ (Apa.org)

Now, that’s the real problem. Everyone is stressed the hell out. And that’s not the good kind of stress.

That can be explained by the fact that if the demands of society have greatly changed over the decades, your stress response is essentially the same as your ancestors.

Keep in mind that your stress response is naturally highly adaptable. This means the intensity of the triggers needed to activate your stress response will depend on how sensitive your stress system is.

The thing is, most people have no idea how to treat stress and therefore can’t manage it. Most people are scared of it, they want to avoid triggering it at all cost.

That is why some people will seek numbing behaviors like smoking, drinking or playing video games which will temporary alleviate the stress response.

Because, when the stress response is out of control, it’s very likely that this is what will control your life.

I understand that, I’m someone who tends to be very activated, stressed on a daily basis.

And For a long time, I thought that stressing was wrong and it wasn’t how it’s supposed to be.

I was telling myself ‘’Stress is bad, so if I’m stressed, I must be doing something wrong.’’ Meanwhile, stress is simply a natural response to a stressor.

And after researching and studying stress I understood one key concept that changed my whole perspective on it.

Stress is a generalized response; it isn’t selective.

It’s a ‘’nonspecific response of the body to any demand ‘’- Hans Selye

Whether a bear is chasing you or your boss calls you into the office, your body has the same physiological reaction.

Of course, it varies in intensity, but that’s a major problem because it means that whatever you evaluate as “stressful” will trigger this autonomic response.

More than that, if the reaction is non specific, the triggers are specific depending on your experiences.

Phobia is the extreme example of that, if you’re arachnophobic then seeing a spider will trigger this stress response to max level.

Whereas, in comparison, when I see a spider, I think about peter parker, that’s it.

And the stress response is insidious because, as long as the stressors are present, your body will react to them.

If the stressors in your life are your relationship and your job, for example, this means that you’ll be stressed out on a daily basis since you’re in contact with those two things every day.

That’s exactly why you have to learn to effectively assess your stress levels. The last thing you want is to only be aware of it when you’re about to break down.

Stress accumulates, and by listening to the signals, you can have a very good idea of how much stress you’re under.

For that to happen, you need to pay attention to your body. There are several domains in which excess stress will easily manifest.

Your ability to sleep, focus, and body tension are good indicators of your stress levels. That being said, the most important by far is your sleep quality.

“If you can fall and stay asleep at night, stress—while uncomfortable—is far less damaging.” - Andrew Huberman on X

So that’s your threshold. As long as your sleep allows for good recovery, you know that your stress levels are manageable. When sleep is taking the hit … Not good…

Your mindset dictates wether stress is poison or steroid.

“There’s a whole side of stress that shows that it can have enhancing qualities on our cognitive functioning, our physical health, and on how we behave and interact with others.” - Alia Crum

Joy, happiness, and relief exist because stress does too. More than that, you stress because you care.

If you were indifferent in a situation, your body wouldn’t bother activating the stress response…

Now imagine, person A, who is consumed by stress, and person B, who’s able to handle and use stress as their most potent source of energy.

Considering that the stress response is generalized and present in all individuals, the difference doesn’t lie in the reaction itself …

but in the mindset they use to view and interpret stress.

To the body, there’s no such thing as good stress or bad stress. Stress is simply a physiological reaction to the environment.

You don’t get to choose if you’re stressed or not, but you get to choose how you respond to it and, ultimately, that’s more important than the stress itself.

That’s where your mind comes into play. Your interpretation of stress will be the tool you can use to turn stress into a steroid.

It all comes down to the level of control you perceive having in a situation. When you truly think about it, stress is debilitating only if you feel like it’s an unwanted invasion of your body.

But what if stress was instead your body mobilizing all its resources to help you fight the thing that triggered it ?

You don’t have to undergo stress, you don’t have to avoid it, you don’t have to die from it, you can use it by simply reframing your mindset and leveraging how it works

For example, my body provokes a stress peak every time I enter the gym. I get the “adrenaline rush,” which I use to push intensity during my workouts.

In this case, the reaction is highly beneficial. It gives me energy, motivation, and focus to train effectively. It literally acts as a stimulant that energizes my whole body.

Now I view it as a beneficial stress that I have control over. But it wasn’t the case a couple of years ago.

This exact same sensation was the reason why I dreaded going to the gym. Yet, this is the exact same physiological reaction. It’s just that now I feel like I have control over it and I leverage it instead of suffering from it.

The change is in the cognition you cultivate about stress, basically the thought patterns associated with your stress response.

If you tell yourself that stressing is only going to ruin your chances of performing, then that’s what it does. If you convince yourself internally that stress is bad and it’s killing you, then it will.

Now keep in mind, here I’m not talking about life or death situation. I’m talking about everyday life stress.

At the end of the day, you’re the only one putting thoughts in your own head, and you get to choose how you react to your life.

But just know that you can start to use your thoughts and beliefs to profoundly change the way you view stress and start using it to maximize your performance.

4 steps to stop stress from ruining your life

And now ladies and gentlemen,

Now the moment you’ve all been waiting for, how to stop stress from ruining your life and turn it into a performance booster.

1. Identify the manifestations of your stress response

There are a lot of symptoms of stress but :Elevated heart rate, rapid breathing, blurry vision, sweating, blood rushing to your legs, and light-headedness are common manifestations of the stress response

You don’t have to know all of them; you simply need to be aware of the main symptoms that are most easily recognizable in your case.

Your goal is to be able to assess your stress level at all times and to base your judgment on those specific traits.

For example, when I get stressed, I feel tension in my neck and toes, and my breaths become shorter and quicker. These are my best cues to tell me that I’m currently stressed without it being an over-the-top reaction. It’s useful real time feedback.

Become conscious of how your stress response manifests, and you’ll start to have control over it.

2. Reframe your mindset

Stress is a mobilization tool, not a killer. If you believe stress is only harmful, it will be. If you see it as a source of energy, you’ll have the edge.

Think about it. It wouldn’t make any sense for your body to trigger a reaction that is damaging to it. You need to work on actualizing your beliefs and making peace with stress.

Stress is an inherent part of life and it serves a specific purpose. There’s a whole other side to stress that you probably don’t see because you’re focusing too much on the negative aspect.

Stress pushes you to do something well; it’s behind all the achievements in your life. More than that, stress has been your protector ever since you were born.

Thanks to that system, you’ve avoided a lot of trouble. Remind yourself it's just your body temporary supporting you by sending more resources to overcome the obstacle.

3. Learn to regulate the Intensity

When you take an objective look at it, intensity is the problem. Too much stress is debilitating, while medium stress is useful for activation and optimal performance.

If the intensity is too high then, you won’t be able to use the stress response as a weapon.

Here are the 2 most potent tools that I found to instantly lower the intensity of the stress response.

First, There’s a breathing pattern that Andrew Huberman talks about in his episode on mastering stress, called the physiological sigh. (link below)

This pattern consists of two quick inhales to fill the lungs rapidly and a long exhale. This will basically tell your heart to slow down and your overall body to calm down.

Additionally, when you find yourself in a really stressful situation, you have to learn how to remove yourself from stressors and stimuli to focus on regulating your reaction for a minute. that is called temporary retreat.

4. Use stress

Finally, once you’re familiar with your stress response and how to regulate it to manageable levels, then you can start to leverage it.

This will be the most effective tool you can use to win against procrastination. I’m convinced that Stress is more powerful than motivation.

You have to be stressed if you want to produce your best work; however, that stress has to be controlled.

Stress isn’t bad; too much stress for too long is. Short-term stress, when handled and welcomed, is the best thing you can use to move the needle in your life.

Soon enough, if you go through these steps and experiment, you’ll be able to use its power to achieve your goals, overcome obstacles, and drastically improve your performance.

If you’ve enjoyed this, feel free to share it with people you know who would benefit from it.

Hope it helps,

Trust the process.

Gab,