I Just Stopped Using Social Media And This Happened.

I’ve stopped using social media for quite a while now, I don’t play video games anymore and I barely even use my phone.

Initially I was scared that if I wasn’t connected all the time I’d feel bored, feeling like I’m missing out on life, the news, the people and that I would look like a freak to others but actually, the opposite happened.

I’ve discovered that, social media, the news and technology in general is a trap that is robbing me of my attention, my time and my energy.

And in this article, I’ll walk you through what it really looks like to adopt a digital minimalism routine and how to put that in place.

You’ll Be Scared And Feel Like An Outcast

90% of people aged 18-29 use social media daily.

And the thing is when 90% of people do something, it makes it normal, it makes scrolling on your phone for 3+ hours per day - the norm.

If it’s the norm, you tend to follow it and not to question it because it has been adopted by the majority of people around you.

Even the dumbest of the behaviours, if replicated by enough people will become normal and conventional to your eyes, that’s the danger of uniformity.

But if I’m honest, I’ve never even enjoyed social media, I’ve always felt like it’s that overwhelming world online that put me in a rat race for likes, followers and potential vitality.

The only platform that I enjoy is Youtube, as it promotes learning and the freeness of information. That’s the reason why I’m active on it. The rest of them, I don’t use or care anymore.

I remember the day I’ve decided to close my personal instagram and to delete my facebook. I was frightened, my stomach was so tight I felt like I could throw up.

In my mind, racing thoughts were telling me that if I’d do that, If I was to delete my social media, people would think I’m weird and would not become friends with me. At work they’ll think I’m forging my identity because I don’t have any social media to back it up therefore any credibility.

It was pathological, like a psychological addiction fuelled by a profound fear of being rejected and to feel like an outcast. Technology will do that do you, that’s how it is designed, to be addictive and to simulate your belonging needs in a digital realm.

It took me two hours of arguing back and forth with my brain to deactivate my accounts but after that, a sigh, and instant relief as that meant I didn’t have to compare my life to thousands of people per day.

Initially those apps were free to make it accessible to the public which was a good idea but the problem is that at some point they started making money with ads, that’s when the retention time became their best tool for money making.

And it doesn’t apply just to social media, TV is like that too, the more time you spend in front of it, the more money they make.

Here’s the first piece of advice I can give you : If you’re thinking about quitting social media, you have to expect your mind to talk you out of it because you will feel abnormal at first.

The reason being, these days most of our social behaviours are online now and not in real life as much. Human beings are very social creatures and so your brain really does not like the sound of you disconnecting yourself from the tribe.

The problem is that for your brain, your Instagram is the equivalent of feeling like you’re part of a community, it will discourage you to quit it as this would mean that you’re on your own and that you have to face the wilderness alone if you’re not on it.

This is what happened to me, for weeks I was hesitant about making the move and when I did it, it kind of felt like a part of my social identity had died in the process.

Which is exactly the reason why you should do it - if it feels that difficult, that daunting and very few people do it, then it’s a great opportunity to separate yourself from the herd and to craft a real social identity. One that is not dictated by likes and nice comments.

Technology is stealing your time.

But maybe you tell yourself that it’s not so bad, that social media platforms have their downsides but that you get to chat with your friends and see what celebrities are up to.

From where I stand, I see two main reasons why you shoulder consider leaving social media. First it’s because of the time that you’re spending on it.

The second reason is more psychological and it’s about the content that there is one these platforms.

I spoke about this before but it is mad the number of hours that people spend on social media. Hours that I use to spend on social media too, hours that are lost forever.

In your life, you probably feel like you’re out of time, busy, stressed and late but this wouldn’t happen if you were to stop those technologies.

Think about the time that you spend on your phone everyday. After I’ve stopped using instagram so much, my screen time was cut in half which meant that I freed up two and a half hours everyday.

If you were to do that, you’d have time to exercise, you’d have time to go out with your friends, you’d have time to learn a new language, new skills…

Not only is technology stealing your time, but it’s also stealing something as important, your attention. Time is essential but time is worth nothing without attention.

Imagine going back to the Renaissance period. You run into those people that are trying to elevate the human heritage to the top. People that are painting magnificent murals and walls while other write poetry or books that will stay with us for thousand of years onward.

Would you give those people a piece of metal and glass that dings every two minutes to get them to open it and become absorbed by the last thing Kylie Jenner said, preventing them from ever achieving the work of their lives ?

I would not.

If you want more productivity, if you want more awareness, more presence in your life, then cutting the major obstacle to it should be your first priority and that has to start with those attention consuming platforms.

I can’t believe all the content there is on productivity online, the magical systems, do this technique, hack your brain …

Meanwhile the only real hack there is is to turn off your phone, put it in another room and start working on your laptop with one single tab opened.

Now the second thing is that the very content on Instagram, Tik Tok or X can be detrimental to you as a result of the negativity or the constant push for comparison.

Being in constant contact with the misery of the world 24/7 is not why you exist in this world. The news on TV, the geo-political conflicts on X and the omnipresent images of disasters broadcasted every day are not good for you.

I’m not saying that you should close your eyes on what is happening. That being said, psychologically speaking it can be destructive if you are in constant contact with the pain.

And when it’s not that, then you’re going to be seeing influencer content that is only directed by algorithms.

You probably know that it’s not good for you but the pull is too strong and you keep engaging. What you need to do is to ask yourself how you emotionally feel after a two hours scrolling streak.

I remember I felt miserable, I felt like my energy had been drained out of me and that my body was sluggish. It seems like any activity that you do after using social media is no fun, it’s not that interesting and going back to instagram or on Netflix sounds like a better idea.

Rule number two : Technology has been designed for you to be addicted to it but doesn’t care about your well-being.

How To Get Out Of The Trap

If you currently have a relationship with technology that is close to addiction and you want to get rid of it, the plan is simple.

(Now I won’t prescribe anything, I won’t tell you what you need to do, I think you should think for yourself and everything I’m about to say are suggestions rooted in personal experience.)

The most important thing is that you should be the one designing your use of technology and not the other way around.

In my life, I’ve decided to stop using social media, to stop playing video games, to drastically reduce my screen time in general and to replace it with reading, playing the piano and walking.

The hardest step was by far getting rid of social media because as I said, there is that “social” aspect of it but the rest is not hard if you do it gradually and with a good enough reason why you feel like this is the way to go.

I was sick and tired of feeling like a third of my day was wasted on things that don’t matter to me in the long run and that’s what kept me going when I would encounter a new person, they’d ask for my IG and I would say “I don’t have instagram”, them looking at me like I’m a psychopath.

But for that to happen, I needed to stop thinking that this was normal and that I should follow the typical path.

In my opinion, wasting your life on screens is not okay and even if that is the norm, then you should probably not follow it altogether.

As humans in modern societies I think we have a tendency to accept things as they are and not to question them but in this case, you really have to question your reality.

I’d suggest you give yourself at least thirty days but it’s better if you go beyond, consider it a technology detox if you want. If you commit to it, you have to fix yourself a clear goal and stick to it as much as humanly possible.

Reduce the behaviour that is most limiting you in your life right now. Maybe you want to reduce the time you spend on video games and in that case you tell yourself that there isn’t any video games during the week.

Maybe you’re tired of spending three hours per day on social media and you want to experience life without it for a month, whatever feels like the best thing to put in place for you.

The importance is in setting strict limitations when it comes to your technology use and respecting those boundaries for an extended period of time, long enough so that your brain can truly experience what it’s like without it.

If you do that, you’ll be confronted to boredom, you’ll experience it firsthand and will have to put up with it. You’ll have to re-discover what it feels like to feel bored and maybe even lonely.

That’s why you use so much screens in the first place, to get rid of the negative emotions of your life as much as possible and trade them for cheap entertainment.

Rule number three : You’re the one in control of your will, you can limit your technology use if you want to.

What To Do Instead

Until now, everything that I’ve been saying sounds like a cost : it’s going to be uncomfortable, you’re going to experience boredom, social rejection and so on…

But now, we’re really talking because the beautiful thing about going for digital minimalism and getting rid of the excess time spent on devices is the time and attention that you’ll unlock as a result.

And the things that you’ve always wished you had time for are going to be possible. Things going to the gym, trying a yoga class or learning how to cook.

If you commit to your strict technology policy for a month, not only you’ll feel that you have more time but also more energy, more motivation, and maybe even a better overall mood.

If you don’t know where to start, I will always recommend you to start with physical activity, to use the newfound time to start going to the gym and to reinforce your body.

In my opinion it’s the best starting point if you want to reinvent your life as you have to learn discipline through the practice of a regular physical activity.

I always suggest the gym because it’s the most accessible and the best sport in order to shape your body but you can adopt any activity you enjoy, swimming, biking, walking…

That said, if you’re interested in going to the gym and shaping your body then you’d probably be interested in fitness autonomy.

If you give your technology detox a try then you’ll be amazed at how much you can accomplish during the day.

Funny thing is that, the less technology I use, the healthier and fulfilled I am and I’ll never stop telling people to try and reduce their screen time to improve their quality of live

Anyway, that’s my take on it, you do whatever you please and as always I hope this helps, Trust the process