4 Honest Advice To My Out Of Shape Self.

As a fitness coach who’s in the gym every day, I see beginners from afar—

the behaviors they are trying to hide, the way they compare themselves, and the actions they’re taking.

And I, as much as possible, don’t judge them because it just reminds me of myself five years ago when I started this self-improvement journey as a skinny and socially anxious kid…… It was hard.

That’s the reason why Today, I’m going to share with you the four pieces of advice that I would tell my out-of-shape younger self if I could go back in time.

Bear in mind that this is honest advice that people might not want to tell you when starting because they’re scared it might discourage you.

I don’t share that opinion; I think that you should be aware of what’s waiting for you if you’re starting or on your way to starting the habit of going to the gym.

so, Without further ado, here are four pieces of advice that I needed to hear when I first started going to the gym.

It’ll probably be harder than what you expect it to be, and that’s ok.

And that’s exactly how it is supposed to be. You see, the problem is that people tend to think that training isn’t hard to pick up and that they don’t need any real knowledge about anything to start bending metal.

I see two main things that could explain that:

One, the culture. For a long time, the culture of bodybuilders and the gym itself has been associated with something that looks ridiculous and purely ego-powered.

Second, the accessibility of the gyms. Nowadays, because gyms are everywhere and very cheap, the barrier to entry has been drastically lowered, meaning that people are biased toward thinking that it’s easy to do because it’s easy to access.

In real life, it doesn’t work that way. I can buy a tournament chess set for $20 on Amazon, yet no one thinks that knowing how to play chess well is easy.

I can still play; I just will be very bad at first because I’ve never played chess in my life before. And here’s the fundamental distinction: the problem lies in the expectations that you cultivate about the habit you’re trying to implement.

The issue with that is telling yourself that it’s accessible and easy and then stepping into the gym and realizing that you have no idea how anything works.

If your brain has set a low barrier to entry and the reality is that the activity is hard, this will create a lot of inner friction as your brain just realizes 10 minutes into a workout that you don’t have any clue about what’s happening.

Strength training is about biomechanics; it’s the physics of the human body and basically positioning your body in space correctly in order to use the right lever and to damage muscle fibers for them to adapt and grow bigger.

You can do a PhD in biomechanics or sport science. Lifting weights is more complex than it looks.

And I personally, didn’t know anything about movement when starting.

Your sports history also greatly influences the speed with which you’ll be able to understand and memorize motor patterns.

If you’ve continuously played sports when you were younger, your brain has adapted its motor cortex to the activity that you were engaging in.

Whereas, if you’ve never really done any type of physical exercise when younger (which was me, again), chances are that your brain hasn’t encoded the motor script for you to easily be able to move into space and move effectively.

Meaning, if you’ve never played a sport before, especially when you were younger, it’ll be harder for your brain to adapt to the physical demands and to learn the motions and patterns for you to be able to work out effectively and smoothly.

All of that being said, your brain is highly plastic and is, by nature, capable of adapting its structure and organization to the physical constraints of your environment. It just takes time and patience.

Don’t obsess over the results, obsess over the quality of your input.

It’s not about having a 6 pack in the next 3 months, it’s about putting in the effort that could lead to you having a 6 pack in the next 3 months. It’s crucial that you Shift the focus.

and the saying "It’s not about the goal; it’s about the journey" has never felt so true when it comes to exercise and fitness in general.

You see, the problem is that when starting, your brain has no realistic point of reference. You cannot set a realistic goal if you have no prior experience in the domain. This means that, when starting, your goal is very likely to be very high, possibly even impossible.

And that’s fine because, again, this is not about the results; this is about the quality of your effort and the contentment that you get out of it.

I, for instance, thought that I would build up 10-15 pounds of muscle during my first year of training.

You set a goal because you need a direction, but the thing with goals is that you can always adjust them as you realize that it may or may not be pragmatic according to your current situation.

More than that, don’t expect over the results when starting as you’re probably expecting something that isn’t real. This is the fastest way to get discouraged at first as you don’t have that much control over it.

Instead, what I found to be much more efficient is to obsess over the quality of my input, as I just realized that results were going to the consequences of the intensity and the consistency of my efforts.

Now another major problem about that, and I often talk about that with my clients is the fact that social media is destroying your notion of what’s realistic.

If you’re on social media and you watch content in the fitness realm, what you see is the equivalent of watching a movie. When you enter the local gym in your neighborhood, you will understand that social media is fiction.

Do not use social media as an accurate point of reference for the results you’re looking ; this will trick your brain into setting the perfect bodies that you see on there as the norm.

Therefore, setting your body image as severely lower

Because the reality is that you’re not going to look like a bodybuilder in a year, even if you set yourself the goal of becoming one.

Most people will set a goal that only resembles a distant destination, and they’ll tunnel vision on the results in the meantime.

The only healthy comparison to keep is the one with your past self, that’s it.

Talking about comparison,

Talking about comparison, for most people when starting, because you’re unsure about what you’re doing (which is okay, by the way), social comparison is going to kill your focus and motivation.

The thing is that your habit is probably too fragile to handle that kind of pressure at first, which is why you need to manage it.

When you’re new at something, you lack confidence in your skills and abilities because you’ve never tested them before. This predisposition will push you towards what’s called upward comparison.

This is when you compare yourself to someone that you perceive to be superior or more advanced. In the case of the gym, it would be someone who has years or decades of experience.

Upward comparison can be positive or negative depending on the mindset that you use to view it.

That being said, when starting, most people lacking self-confidence will see those people as unreachable ideals of what they could never achieve, undermining and reducing the impact of their efforts.

And the biggest upside or downside, depending on your mindset, is the fact that the social environment of the gym is a complex and mixed environment.

This is one of the only sports where people who have been training for 20+ years are training right next to you.

This isn’t golf, where you have beginners' clubs, golf courses, and teams, and you will almost never play with the advanced players unless you try competitive golf or go on advanced golf courses.

(I’m saying that but I have no idea how golf really works)

Secondly, the physical shape of your muscles, your insertions, areas of the body where you store fat, etc., are highly related to genetics.

Therefore, it makes social comparison biased because you’re not comparing two identical bodies; you have two different models, so you lose the objectivity.

Now, that’s not meant as an excuse for resignation. It is still your responsibility to get in shape and put in your best effort regardless.

But it leads us to understand that the only comparison that you need to be making is the one with yourself, with your past self, to be precise.

At the end of the day, the only thing that truly matters is that you go to bed slightly better than you were the day prior.

And here we’re talking about micro increments, in the decisions that you’ve made, and in the actions that followed.

When starting going to the gym, I truly encourage you not to expose yourself to all the social comparisons out there. Be open to listening to feedback, but don’t heavily rely on comparison.

Comparison with your past self is, to me, the only healthy version of comparison, as it’s a clear indicator of signs of progress.

Don’t train with your ego, or you’ll become a social burden.

Now, when you’re in the gym training, forget about your ego for a minute. Accept the fact that you may not know how to do this.

What usually happens is that people have a hard time showing their vulnerabilities, and that’s understandable. No one wants to be pointed out as the new guy who doesn’t know anything about his business.

But, you see, this is how it’s supposed to be when starting. You will feel incompetent, again because you haven’t had enough tries to forge your competency, which in the gym is visible through technique and form.

(and my form when starting was far from ideal, in fact I killed one of my shoulder during my first year of training).

In that case, two scenarios are likely to happen as a result of that deduction.

One, you can resent the fact that you have no idea what you’re doing and that you’re looking like a total beginner.

What usually happens then is that you tend to try to compensate for the lack of technique with weight. You’ll totally sacrifice the purpose of the exercise just to show off that you’re strong and can lift half the stack.

Beware though, that the people in the gym who know their stuff will never be impressed, as they clearly see that you’re destroying the technique just to "lift more weight." I call that lifting stupid.

Actually, you’ll become a social burden for the environment, and people will avoid you and feel repulsed the second they see you.

Or scenario two, you accept the fact that you have no idea what to do and embrace this idea. Not trying to hide the fact that you’re a beginner is what’s going to help you.

Because every person who has ever started going to the gym has been in the exact same spot that you’re in, and by displaying it, you’ll attract the empathy of others.

If you set your ego aside and ask for help, feedback, or guidelines, most people will help you.

Spoiler : option 2 is better.

If you try to mask your inability by just lifting as heavy as possible, you become a social burden as well as a danger to your own body.

Don’t do that. Learn the technique first, and don’t be ashamed of your lack of knowledge and experience.

All in all, accept that you’re only starting this thing, for now it doesn’t make any sense but if you give it enough time and consideration,

This newfound habit might just change your life as it did for me.

One step at a time and don’t project yourself too far into the future,

stay where you are and aim to always take the best out of the experiences that you’re going through,

it is necessary if you want to make true progress.

Hope it helps, trust the process.