Self-control is your cheat code to getting lean and muscular
The fastest way to loose the weight, put on muscle, adopt healthy habits is to build self-control
It's about saying ‘no’ to cravings, temptations, and cheap dopamine, and ‘yes’ to the habits that will lead you to your long-term fitness goals.
This concept is simple to understand, yet if you look around, **the vast majority of people aren't applying it to their lives.
In fact, between 60-70% of North Americans are either overweight or obese, feeling guilty about their fitness but not taking clear action, stuck in the eternal loop of New Year's resolutions.
But if you’re reading this, it means that you’re making a conscious effort to seek for a solution.
Now, most people think that a lack of motivation and procrastination are the main obstacles to their fitness. They believe these are the reasons they can't build muscle or lose unwanted fat.
But the real issue is that they’re not in control of their behaviour, they’re are being led by their emotional brain.
And in this article I’m going to be talking about how you can reclaim control over your physique and your lifestyle using only one simple skill, self-control.
Self-Control is the new human superpower
Self-control is the ability to control your emotions, desires, and behaviors using willpower. It’s the ability to self-restrain when your goals or the situation demands it.
I truly consider this to be a human superpower and the first ability you need to acquire if you want to develop your physique sustainably.
The reason most people don’t achieve their dream physique is because they lack self-control. They can’t consistently keep on doing the same simple things over and over again because their impulses get in the way.
They can’t say no to TV and go to the gym. They can’t say no to ice cream to lose weight. They can’t say no to social media to be productive at work. They can’t say no to buying impulses when they need to save money.
That's why, if you develop this skill, you will be ahead of 90% of people who can’t refrain themselves daily.
Life, especially in modern societies, is full of distractions and temptations. The accessibility to cheap dopamine through social media, food, and video games has never been greater.
You’re constantly bombarded with ads from companies spending millions to get you addicted to their sugary drinks or idealized bodies.
The truth is, this isn’t going to change. Since you can’t control your environment, the only wise choice is to work on your ability to resist these temptations.
When it comes to getting lean, the challenge is to respect your nutrition and caloric deficit, saying ‘no’ to overeating and breaking your streak.
There’s nothing complex or intrinsically difficult to understand here
When you understand that you have a constant choice to make—either you go through life unable to control yourself, or you choose to build the skill designed for this very reason.
You essentially become capable of working towards long-term goals without enduring setbacks and hardships.
As practicing self-control leads to self-discipline overtime, which is more of a lifestyle practice. Once you start on that path, that’s when you unlock consistency which is the key to fitness.
And there’s a reason why you see everyone out there talking about how consistency is the key to success and how you need this skill to achieve the things that you want. (yes that is true especially for fitness)
Consistency is what you need to build muscle
Consistency is what you need to lose weight
Consistency is what you need to adopt fitness as a lifestyle
So that you never have to worry about it ever again.
[That is why my coaching program relies on just that, building the self-discipline that’s necessary for you to reach your fitness goal and sustain the change. More info here]
Starting line
To get started and stack the odds in your favour, we're going to go through the process step-by-step, giving you a roadmap to start exercising your self-control muscle.
You'll know exactly what to do and what to focus over the next few days. The goal isn’t to be perfect and to apply everything all at once.
Bear in mind that this is a process and by definition it cannot be instantaneous. The goal is to maximize your efforts without feeling overwhelmed by the process
Start with the first principle and when you feel like you’ve applied it to your daily life, move on to the next one.
Don’t rush it too much or it will be fragile but don’t just read these lines and not apply the concepts.
Find your balance and you’ll be fine.
That out of the way, there are 4 keys to building self-control, and the first one is to
Know your weaknesses
You can’t work toward your goals if you don’t first understand the obstacles that have prevented you from reaching them in the past.
Everyone has their own triggers for impulses, cravings, and temptations, depending on their past experiences, genetics, and preferences.
The goal is to identify the things that will trigger your need for self-control, you have to be aware of the enemy and be able to see clearly where the struggle is going to be, in order to prepare for it.
For instance, many of my clients struggle with sugar—they have a sweet tooth and find it hard to refrain from chocolate, ice cream, soft drinks, or other sugary treats.
Maybe for you, it’s not sugar; maybe it’s savoury foods or carbs or maybe it’s not even about food but the major problem is about social media use.
The nature of the trigger can vary, but the toxic relationship remains the same. And in any case the response that we want to condition is to say ‘no’ to it whenever it’s not serving your purpose.
You need to start observing and analyzing your behavior to understand what triggers lead to unhealthy habits.
Now, when it comes to fitness, most people are aware of the things that they shouldn’t do. They know they shouldn’t snack if they want to lose weight or procrastinate on social media instead of going to the gym.
Most people can identify negative triggers but don’t do so consciously because it provokes a reality check or ****confrontation.
This is exactly what you’re looking for. You want to hold yourself accountable for your health and fitness.
Analyze with scrutiny the habits preventing you from being in shape and ask yourself why you’re engaging in them.
Shame and guilt can guide you here. Follow those emotions to find what you’re looking for, but be open and honest with yourself. The goal isn’t to punish yourself for not doing what’s right but to locate the problem.
Avoid what can be avoided
Once you know your personal triggers, you have the edge because you know what you’re fighting against.
The next step is to reduce unnecessary exposure to these triggers. If you can minimize contact with some triggers, you should do it, as this will save you a lot of willpower.
When I was quitting nicotine, I quickly understood that it would be 10x easier if I stopped passing by vape shops.
Some triggers are easier to avoid than others, but you can certainly reduce your exposure. It can be as simple as avoiding the pastry section at the grocery store.
More than that, this will help you bring the trigger to consciousness and give it nowhere to hide in your brain.
Make it easier for yourself so you’re not constantly battling the same triggers.
There is one non negotiable here though, your home needs to be a secure, trigger-free place. I talked about this last week, but it’s worth emphasizing.
If you want to quit alcohol to get in shape and the problem is that your 65-inch 4K TV - robs you of 4 hours of your day - is whispering you to go grab a beer
then getting rid of the TV and the beer in the fridge will make the process way easier as you limit the exposure in your own home.
If you want to make this work, you need to stack the odds in your favour and lower the usage of self-control as this will only make things easier.
Ego depletion is inevitable
Regarding self-control, you need to know two things.
First, everyone can exert self-control—it is a skill, not a trait. If you lack self-control, you need to train to get more of it.
Second, in order to exercise self-control you need to use willpower and everyone has a limited reserve of it. I discuss this in depth in this article about willpower .
Knowing this, we need to talk about the inevitable: Ego depletion. For most people, this is where they stop caring about their goals and ruin their efforts.
Ego depletion is the reason why most people never achieve their dream physiques.
Ego depletion occurs when the reserve of willpower, the mental energy you use to exercise self-control, runs low.
Willpower is a general battery that is depleted by all domains in your life that require self-control.
For example, your job, especially if you work with others, is likely highly demanding in terms of self-control.
Society, in general, is highly demanding because you have to follow social rules and can’t express yourself freely.
You’re constantly inhibiting your impulses and hiding your emotions which results in you being mentally depleted of willpower.
Again, there is no way around it, unless you live deep in the mountains surrounded by sheep, you’ll end up ego-depleted at the end of the day.
Your willpower battery recharges during sleep, so it’s always easier to make conscious decisions earlier in the day, provided you have a regular sleep schedule.
Understanding this, I hope you see the importance of not having a bucket of ice cream in the freezer if your main trigger is a desire for sugar at 2 AM.
It’s also true that there’s a significant genetic and biological aspect to self-control. But by understanding how it works, you can leverage it to build better habits.
Practice saying ‘no’ to yourself
If you’re aware of the the triggers and you know what you should be doing, the main problem is that you haven’t practiced your self-control muscle enough to get there.
Most people had to practice it as a child depending on your environment and education of course.
But as adults, the kind of only thing that they ended up focusing on was their jobs, losing the ability to restrict themselves in other areas.
Delayed gratification is at the heart of this. It’s the ability to delay the perceived pleasure from an activity—basically saying ‘no’ to yourself in the moment and promising yourself, "you’ll have it, but later."
This is extremely powerful because, when you can do it on command, you control your decisions, allowing you to delay gratification that would otherwise break your fitness streak.
Just like a muscle you train in the gym, you must teach your brain how to do it by practicing saying ‘no’ when a trigger sparks a desire.
When it’s conscious, it’s almost like a game. Start at level one and choose easy choices to say no to.
For example, if your main triggers are food-related, you’ll probably find it easier to say no to using social media at work or watching a lot of TV to practice before moving on to the nutrition.
The goal is to prime your brain to say ‘no,’ practice it in a domain you’re relatively comfortable with, and then transfer the skill to the main triggers.
The good news is that it compounds. If you learn to restrain yourself with food, you’ll find it easier to exert self-control in your relationships or at work. As your self-control gets stronger, it takes less energy for your brain to say ‘no’ to impulses.
The problem is that the opposite is also true. If you haven’t said no to your desires for a long time, it will take everything you have to not engage in impulses or act on desires because your brain is used to saying ‘yes’ to every thought.
You need to start exerting self-control to achieve your fitness goals. If it feels hard right now, exercise your self-control muscle and learn how to self-restrain in other, easier domains.
Remember, when you have a strong self-control muscle because you know how to use your willpower, you become unstoppable. You can reach your goals much faster and with less pain because you know how to say ‘no’ to when your goals need you to say it.
And if you want a full on structure and curriculum to help with that, again, you can always join the next cohort.
As always I hope this helps, trust the process.