You Won't "find your passion" But Here's How to Develop it.
Grit, written by Angela Duckworth, has been on my list for a long time, and now I understand why. This book is the greatest introduction to the science of passion.
As someone who has been struggling to find his passion, this helped me tremendously in navigating this area of my life.
I’ve always felt like the people around me seemed to have found their passion way before I did and that I was inadequate because I wasn’t passionate about anything.
That’s why today, I’ll highlight the 5 main lessons I took from the book that have helped me understand how to develop passion.
It isn’t about talent
The first thing that struck me while reading this book is the lesser importance of innate talent in the quest for passion.
At the beginning of the book, Duckworth spends a big chunk of pages dismantling the idea that, in order to become great at something, you have to be great from the start.
That you have to be talented.
The truth is that, if you have talent, great—it means you can use it to your advantage. But just having talent does not mean that you will use it. You also need the ability to mobilize yourself and apply your talent consistently if you want to create a passion out of it.
In my entourage, I’ve encountered many people who had talent—talent for drawing, sports, math, whatever it is—but very few of them actually ended up using their talents.
Most of the time, because it feels easy for them, they don’t pay much attention to it and fail to realize that it’s much harder for other people than it is for them.
Therefore, if you don’t have apparent talent, the door to success is way more accessible than you might think, and Angela places effort a rank higher than talent.
Take two people:
Person A is very talented but doesn’t have much drive. When they do sit down and draw, they can produce magnificent drawings effortlessly.
The problem is, person A might sit down in front of a blank paper only once in a while and won’t take it seriously because it feels so easy, so natural.
Now, person B is not talented when it comes to drawing. They enjoy learning how to draw, but it’s something that really costs them mental focus and energy because they don’t yet know how to do it properly.
That said, person B has way more perseverance and decides that, for the next 12 months, they’re going to draw for an hour every single day.
In this scenario, after 12 months of dedicated work, person B will probably be able to draw properly, even if it’s not as flawless as person A’s work.
The main difference is that person B will also have built solid discipline around drawing, making it an inherent part of their life—a passion, most probably.
Out of these two personas, person B is the one most likely to stick to drawing for the rest of their life and, maybe, make it a lifelong passion because they know what it takes to become good at it.
I personally have way more in common with person B. I wasn’t a talented kid, but at a certain age, I promised myself that I would stick to things long enough to develop a real set of skills.
Don’t wish for talent. Talent, in my opinion, undermines the importance of the work and time you put into the activity.
Wish for it to be hard work—that way, you’ll be 100% sure that you became “good” at this thing because you put in the work that was required, whatever endeavor it might be.
In the book, Angela gives us the equations of achievement, which are very simple but a great indicator of what success truly requires:
Talent x Effort = Skill
Skill x Effort = Achievement
Through these equations, she emphasizes the importance of effort, as it appears twice.
Therefore, someone with more talent but who puts in fewer reps will not be able to reach the same level as someone with less talent who is consistent and determined.
All of that to say—it is not too late for you.
It’s not too late if you didn’t start playing basketball when you were 6 or if your first time in the gym was at 19.
Take it from where you are, because the only thing that matters is that you’re capable of pouring your energy into one thing and committing to it in the long run.
Don’t follow your passion
Most people are mesmerized by the idea that there is something out there that will be the perfect fit for them. That, from day one on the job, they’ll excel because they’ve magically discovered their passion—the one thing they were put on Earth to do.
I think young people especially fall for this misconception that passion is something you just have to find.
I fell for it, and it’s the reason I wanted to read this book in the first place. I’ve been looking for my passion for years but ended up thinking I hadn’t found anything relevant.
I’ve never experienced something for the first time and thought, “Oh, this—I’m really passionate about this.” I thought there was something wrong with me and the way I do things.
Reading this book gave me the answer to that whole conflict in my head.
You have a lot of potential interests, and many of them are potential passions. That said, none of them will actually become a passion until you engage with them long enough and become good at them.
This is the new narrative I believe in—the one I picked up mostly from this book: You have the choice. You can choose your passion because passion is an investment.
And it’s not even complicated. All you have to do is find something interesting enough to spend years doing, and then commit to cultivating it.
This fake and romanticized idea that passion is just something that "clicks" is something to stay away from. I felt gloomy and self-deceived because nothing clicked for me from the get-go, which made me think I had no passion.
But now, I know it’s because I didn’t give my interests enough time to develop a passion from them.
The commitment is the biggest issue. My own experience is that committing to one big thing in life triggers the fear of missing out on other realms.
Time is limited. You can’t have two careers at the same time. You can’t try to become great at two sports simultaneously. You can’t pick four majors—you have to choose.
And as humans, it’s very hard to deliberately eliminate options.
But the truth is, you could pursue physics and develop a passion for it, just as you could in trying to become a top athlete.
Passion doesn’t care what it is because it’s a construct that exists in your mind. Being passionate about something means that the practice of a skill, sport, or activity triggers a rewarding state of mind.
You have a goal—it’s challenging, you’re making progress on it because of your dedication and perseverance, and you can feel that progress.
Passion isn’t limited to certain categories of activities. Unfortunately, social media made me think that passion is only attainable if you’re rich, famous, and at the top of the world.
The reality is that you can craft a passion for woodworking and live a life feeling just as (or even more) fulfilled than if you were the next rising hip-hop star.
But for that to happen, you have to be willing to put other things aside and focus on the primary goal that keeps you moving forward. This is the hard part.
Duckworth isn’t the only one to share the idea that passion is a construct. I’ve come across this idea in other books too, and I even talked about it last week in the Cbum episode.
So, if you’re watching this video, you should probably start deconstructing your idea of what passion is.
You’ll gain immense power and comfort in knowing you’re the one deciding which interest to pursue and turn into a passion.
You have the choice. You can choose your passion. To me, this is much more empowering than waiting for your passion to magically appear while feeling powerless in the meantime.
Do more of it
Here’s the part where we talk about how to craft your passion, so buckle up.
In order to develop your passion, you need to test your interests through practice and decide which ones you want to pursue after a trial.
Some interests you’ll have to give up because you’ll realize they don’t fit your life at the moment, or the reality of the activity isn’t what you thought it would be.
The process of finding your passion is not linear, and it takes time. A period of exploration is necessary.
I’ve always had many interests—video games, psychology, videography, photography, copywriting, communication—and I had to pick some and leave others on the table.
Sometimes, it’s not always like that. Sometimes you stumble upon it.
Five years ago, I started going to the gym with little interest in it. I just needed to change my body and thought it was probably the best way to do so.
I started picking up an interest in it after a few months of forcing myself to go to the gym 4 to 5 times a week.
But I became passionate about it after 2–3 years of doing it, when I combined discipline with a newfound interest.
Today, I know the gym will always be a major part of my life, and I’ll make time for it even if it means doing less of other things.
Practice is the second pillar after interest, and it’s probably the one that matters most. It equates to the “effort” variable in the grit equation.
The key rule to understand is that if you do something repeatedly and get better at it, chances are you’ll start liking it at some point—it makes you feel competent.
Duckworth provides the recipe for building grit through practice:
A clearly defined and stretch goal
Full concentration and effort
Immediate and informative feedback
Repetition with reflection and refinement
This can sound theoretical, so here’s how I play it into my life:
My clear goal is to go to the gym 5 times a week and sustain that for years.
When I go to the gym, the most important thing for me is focus—being present. I put my phone on DND and only use it for rest times or switching music.
I count every rep of every set and push myself as hard as possible for the 4 or 5 exercises I do. This equates to the concentration and effort part.
The thing I lack is immediate, informative feedback to improve further—for that, I’d need a coach.
Even so, I have enough experience to know what’s good or bad and how to improve my form. On weekends, I watch YouTube videos or read articles to refine my training. That’s the reflection and refinement part.
If you want to develop an interest into a passion, you have to practice enough to figure out which parts you enjoy and which you don’t.
Only then will you know if it’s a passion—or if you should stop because it feels like a waste of time.
Not all interests will transform into passions. For example, a year ago, I wanted my own business because people told me that’s how you find your passion.
I had an interest in it, but when I started my marketing agency and began working with clients, I realized I hated it.
It wasn’t for me. It wasn’t aligned with my purpose.
You have to try. Some things will stick; others won’t. That’s exactly how you’re supposed to figure out your true passions.
Mindset
The reason why most people are not cultivating their passions and are just waiting for them to "happen" is because of their mindset.
For the purpose of our discussion, there are two types of mindsets that are important: a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.
A fixed mindset is one of the most debilitating human factors in modern life.
It’s the belief that things do not change—that things around you, including yourself, cannot change because "that’s just the way it is."
It’s thinking that you cannot correct your behavior, that you cannot stop using social media because "that’s just what you do."
It’s believing that you can’t move to another city because no one around you does it, or that you can’t go to college because your parents didn’t.
It’s the belief that you don’t have time to exercise just because you have a job, ignoring the fact that everyone who works out has a job too.
It’s always finding excuses not to change and staying in the comfort of your current life because your idea of change is fixed. Change, in this mindset, is impossible. Your reality, in your eyes, cannot be expanded.
This mindset comes with a sense of detachment, a lack of control, and a lack of power. I used to cultivate this mindset, and while it’s easier than the alternative, it brings its own load of sheer misery.
If you recognize yourself in this description, know that there is another option: forging a growth mindset.
A growth mindset is the opposite—it’s believing that things can change and that your life can, too, if you put in the necessary work and effort.
It’s believing that you can become more intelligent, adopt new habits, and find a way out of bad patterns.
It’s essentially optimism mixed with a long-term vision, backed by self-discipline to put it into action.
By far, the most important aspect of a growth mindset is how you perceive failure. This might be the most crucial takeaway from this video.
It’s the shift from seeing failure as proof that you’re inadequate to viewing failure as a necessary requirement for learning and growth.
When a child learns to walk, they fail countless times. But it doesn’t seem to bother them—they just keep trying.
Why? For two reasons:
They don’t really have a choice. If they don’t learn to walk, they won’t become autonomous, which leaves them powerless if left by themselves.
They are not self-judgmental because they haven’t been exposed to shame yet.
The best way to move from a negative mindset to one that fosters growth is by becoming aware of your self-talk and reprogramming it.
You need to listen to your inner voice in moments of struggle, especially when you’re doing something you’re uncomfortable with or not good at.
For example, if you’ve never played the piano, try sitting down for 15 minutes and following a tutorial on YouTube.
After about 5 minutes, you’ll start to struggle, and that inner voice will surface. Listen to what it says—you’ll learn a lot about your mindset and the type of voice influencing your decisions.
Purpose
The last component of passion, according to Duckworth, is purpose.
She presents purpose as using your passion to serve other people.
Although she doesn’t explicitly say it, I believe the ultimate goal of modern life is to cultivate your passion and then use it to benefit others.
Fundamentally, we as humans want our lives to matter and to make a difference. We’re wired to feel fulfilled when our lives benefit the world in some way.
The best way to experience this sense of agency is by developing your passion and using it to help, inspire, and motivate others.
This is why social media is such a big deal—it gives you access to people who have developed their passion and inspire you to do the same. They show you that it’s possible.
But if passion is one step ahead, purpose is a lifelong journey. Like passion, purpose isn’t something you "find" but something you choose to develop.
Passion is the precursor to purpose. So if you don’t feel passionate about much in your life right now, here’s the roadmap to finding purpose:
Find an interest you’re genuinely curious about.
Commit to it for long enough, and use deliberate practice.
Over time, the interest will turn into a passion because you’ll become skilled at it.
Use this skill to help other people.
That’s how you find purpose in your life.
As you can see, this process requires time—there are no shortcuts.
This is why you should be cautious of people claiming you can learn to draw in 3 hours, build a business in 30 days, or become a bodybuilder with just three exercises.
Crafting your purpose is much more intricate than that. It depends on several factors that you need to figure out for yourself.
So depending on where you are right now in life, the main lesson to take away is this:
Stop expecting to find your passion right away. Instead, start cultivating the belief that finding your passion requires trust and time in the process of developing it.
As always, hope it helps, Trust the process …