The Self-Improvement Paradox
I discovered self-improvement on YouTube and in books a couple of years ago.
At first, I thought everything about it was magical, and that it was giving me all the keys to becoming the best version of myself.
I thought that if I just designed my life to be fully optimized for self-improvement,
I’d be able to reinvent myself in a few months, you know get in shape, build my own business, and become financially free…
But unfortunately it doesn’t work that way.
Because even if most of the self-improvement content online offers good advice, there’s a trap, a paradox you shouldn’t fall into.
I fell for it, and it triggered immense anxiety, self-doubt, and intense episodes of self-criticism because I started consuming too much of it and for months I felt lost because of it.
The Self-Improvement Paradox
The problem lies in time—more precisely, in the amount of time you spend consuming self-improvement.
When you start watching those videos and reading those books, your brain gets directly immersed in the world of these self-accomplished people and their promises.
Because put simply, Every self-improvement piece of content is essentially someone teaching or sharing information that you can use to reinvent parts of your life.
Whether you’re watching inspirational videos, reading self-help books, or listening to podcasts, the reality remains the same:
You need to encode the information they’re conveying and use it to change your own life. That’s the entire purpose of the game.
But here’s the problem: self-improvement can only help you so much. It can provide you with knowledge, but not the actual application.
It can show you what to do and give you a sense of direction, but it won’t do it for you.
More importantly, exposing your brain to all this advice eventually short-circuits it. There’s just too much information waiting to be used.
It’s an overload of information, and you don’t have enough time to engage in the process of change that each piece of advice demands.
So you end up with all these frameworks, hacks, and lists of things to do, but get stuck in the process because you’re unable to put any plan into action.
You start feeling like you’re lacking the willpower, discipline, or motivation to do any of it.
When in reality the problem is that this is just too much for your brain to handle.
If you feel that way, it means you’re stuck in the Self-Improvement Paradox ; where more self-improvement doesn’t equate to getting better anymore, but simply pilling up unused information in the back of your mind.
Don’t worry; there’s a way out of it. But first, we need to fully grasp the concept if we are to find the remedy.
Why It Exists
Imagine this: you’re standing at the base of a vast mountain range. Everyone has promised you that if you just reach the summit, everything you’re striving for is waiting for you.
But instead of committing to one trail, you’re constantly switching paths every time you hear about a “potentially easier and faster route” to get there.
Problem is, by constantly changing direction, you never get far enough to see tangible results or confirm that what you’re doing is right.
The reality is that you would likely have achieved far more if you had just stuck to one path, regardless of what others were saying.
If your goal is to eventually reach the peak, you need to commit to one path and stop being seduced by every new shiny alternative that comes your way.
The truth is, there are many ways to climb the mountain, but constantly rewriting your route is not one of them.
I’m convinced it all boils down to anxiety. Our brains are easily overwhelmed, and the problem with self-improvement is that you can now go on Social media and expose yourself to hundreds of paths to the summit in a single day.
This is why it’s a paradox—something that’s supposed to help you ends up paralyzing you and getting you lost in the process.
And to understand why you feel this way and how to escape the trap, there are two key concepts in psychology we need to explore.
The Paradox of Choice
As humans in modern life, we’ve never had so many decisions to make, and that can trigger a lot of anxiety.
Our brains weren’t designed to handle such an overwhelming amount of decision-making each day.
After a long day, try making a difficult choice with various options like finding a new job. You’ll quickly realize it’s very hard because your brain struggles to process all the information.
You end up feeling anxious and overwhelmed, postponing the decision. I believe the same thing happens with self-improvement.
The more self-improvement content we consume, the more perceived opportunities we have for improving our lives.
But instead of gaining clarity, it creates frustration and self-deception.
The abundance of advice makes it harder to choose and commit to a single path, explaining why you might feel stuck at the base of the mountain, unsure of which route to take.
That’s the first issue: you have too many options for where to begin. You could focus on improving your fitness, reading more books, limiting social media use, or starting a meditation practice.
And while all of these paths are productive, your brain’s desire to do it all is exactly what leads to doing nothing.
Again, it comes down to having too many options and too little attention or energy to give, especially when your life is already quite full.
Cognitive Overload
There’s another reality to consider: your brain has a finite capacity for attention.
Processing information requires focus, and your working memory can easily become overwhelmed by an influx of information.
Think of your brain as the backpack you carry on your climbing journey. There’s only so much you can pack before it overflows, making it impossible to ascend with your backpack spilling open.
Watching too much self-improvement content—and really, too much content in general—will eventually lead to cognitive overload, which prevents you from taking action and making progress.
The backpack becomes too heavy, filled with things you’ll never actually use. It only slows you down and makes the whole journey feel impossible.
What you need to do is to make sure that you’re just carrying the essentials
But you have to be aware of the fact that : there is no secret remedy.
Most of the journey involves repeating the basics over and over until you master them, and for that, you don’t need to overwhelm yourself.
In a nutshell, you could probably watch half an hour of self-improvement content and gain the same benefits as if you watched five hours of it.
Because the more you consume, the more you overload your brain with information you can’t use, which actually prevents you from thinking clearly.
How To Get Out Of The Trap
If you’re currently stuck, there are steps to take in order to escape from the trap
1. Less Is More
The first thing that needs to be done is some cleaning in your habits. If you feel stuck, you probably need to do less, consume less, set fewer goals, and focus more on what’s truly important.
Let’s say you promised yourself you’d change your physique—then that’s the priority, nothing else is.
Sure, you still have your job, your responsibilities, and bills to pay, but in your mind, besides your normal activities, you should have only one added priority: getting in shape.
There are only 24 hours in a day, and just adding one more habit to your list is more than enough when you’re starting out.
So, make a decision: what is the most important thing for you at the moment? Pick that one thing and put everything else on a waiting list.
You also need to consume less content—not just self-improvement content, but less content in general. Whether it’s social media, TV, books—whatever it is, you need to stop overloading your brain with information it can’t use right now.
This is tricky, and it’s called a trap for a reason. The more self-improvement you consume, the more you discover what needs to be done, and the more tempted you are to keep watching.
I fell for that trap when I started consuming self-improvement and business content. I got the main idea, which is that the only real way to be financially secure and free is to launch your own business (which is solid advice).
But then, I went all-in on researching the best business type, how to generate leads, how to start an SMMA—everything.
I went deep into the rabbit hole, which gave me crippling anxiety for weeks. I felt that after seeing those videos about making $10,000 in the next 30 days, I had to do it, and if I couldn’t, it must be because I was too lazy.
Meanwhile, creating a business from scratch and getting it to $10k per month doesn’t happen in 30 days when you have zero experience.
2. Focus on Building Discipline
At the end of the day, the only thing that truly matters is that you set goals for yourself and take steps toward those goals on a daily basis.
But for that to happen, the key skill to focus on is discipline—motivation alone won’t get you there.
The good news is that discipline is actually easy to build. All you need to do is set a realistic but challenging goal and commit to it.
The mistake most people make is starting with a goal that’s not aligned with where they currently are in their journey.
I see this all the time with my coaching clients. If you’ve never been to the gym and struggle with simply showing up, don’t start with the goal of going every day.
Start small—like going to the gym 2-3 times a week—and then gradually increase the frequency from there.
The bad news is that you probably already know this. If that’s the case, what’s missing is just a primer; you need ignition, and you need to start as soon as possible.
The more you dwell on an idea without acting on it, the more abstract and unattainable it becomes.
And before long, you might convince yourself that you simply don’t have the time to exercise because of your job.
3. Time
The last thing on our list is to revisit what we started this video with: time.
Time is a psychological and abstract concept that you can actually use to your advantage, but to do that, you need to reframe your perspective on it.
Most of us want to reach the end faster than it realistically takes. We focus on getting results as quickly as possible, which completely distorts our perception of time.
In a world where everything is promised instantly on social media and the internet in general, a little time reframing is essential.
You need to stretch your time horizon. You need to accept that it’s probably going to take much longer than you initially think.
Most of us, myself included, underestimate the investment that true achievement requires. We want it to take less time, but by thinking this way, we also underestimate the effort needed to get there. This only makes the path harder.
Eventually, you’ll realize that if you really want it, you’ll need to double down on your efforts.
And as always, I hope this helps. Trust the process.